QUIT TALKING, START DOING!

We all know how much talk without action weary the spirit.
I'm here to tell you and me that it's time to quit talking and start doing- time to stop doodling and start acting.
The best time to start on that great new idea is now not tomorrow. It's okay if you don't have all the puzzle that makes the picture complete in place.  Start with a piece and work from there.  You only solve the picture of a puzzle putting it piece by piece. 100 days from now, you'll look back and wished you started today.  So don't make that your reality.  Create the Future now!  QUIT TALKING AND START DOING.
#Emerge

IF WE CAN CAPTURE YESTERDAY...

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would record every conversation, every expression, every touch, every positive emotion, every loving sigh and every smile because some memories are worth more than diamonds in the present and future than in the past.

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would still be innocent...pure, untarnished and untainted by some thoughts, associations, events, advice and experiences because the peace of a pure and guiltless heart words cannot express.

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would not have let treasured friends, both living and dead go because a man's wealth consist not only in his material and monetary possession; but in the richness of genuine friends who truly cared and loved.

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would have listened more and talk less because in the multitude of words spoken, there lacked not foolishness and regrets.

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would have overlooked some offences, some hurtful remarks, some criticism, some divergent opinions, arguements and some fights because giving them space in our heart would mess that mass up so badly We get to die quicker than when a shot gun is being held to our head

If We can capture yesterday...

We would use the time and energy spent dreaming to buld a castle where realities becomes dreams and dreams becomes impacts made from realities.

If We can capture yesterday...

Then let us live this moment, this minute creating monuments for tomorrow.

#LiveRight

THE FUTILITY OF AN EMPTY LIFE

I bet a lot of us would take a look at the theme of this post and scroll over as fast as we can. But I crave your indulgence to forebear a little and scan through this.

 

So, I woke up this morning around 2am and the pictures of life began to flash through my mind like a rolling slide.

And I began to ask myself what Life is really all about. (That doesn’t mean I haven’t asked myself such before). Anyways, I just needed to ask again what life really means. You just need to open our social Media Pages for you to know what life means to a lot of us folks. Sadly though what we call life is just an ILLUSION TO REALITY. It’s like a disease spreading subtly and eating deeply at the roots of a tree. You see the tree looking so lush today, but a little wind tomorrow, you see it crashing down with such ferocity than you can imagine.

I’m not here to depress you though. No Guys! That’s not why I am making this post. In fact,  I bet you’ve got lots of depressing news & post around you daily; I mean enough to keep one permanently depressed for eternity (Especially if you have not identify your stand in life)

But I think it’s time most of us begin to ask ourselves pertinent questions about life seriously. Am I really LIVING or just EXISTING? What am I living for? Where am I now? And where am I going to?

Friends, don’t allow the things you see on social media to shape your opinion of life. NEVER let it become the foundation on which you build your life because I can bet you that 80 to 90% of most of what you see ain’t real at all. Don’t ever be fooled by the glint and shine of it all.

This Cosmic Spherical Ball we live in didn’t happen by chance, and we are certainly NOT ACCIDENTS OF HISTORY. There is a purpose for why you are in a particular family, at a particular age, among a particular set of people in a particular environment etc etc.

People come, People go. Ages come and Ages go. Where is the path you have choosing today leading you to tomorrow? What is the foundation of the life you lead? To what purpose is it? Because when all is said and done; and everyone is gone, what will be left is the STARK REALITY OF THE TRUTH – THE TRUTH THAT ALL OF HUMANITY HAVE DECIDED TO LIVE IN DENIAL OF.

I leave you with this, Friends;

Life is not measured by the acquisition of wealth or the magnitude of your material possession, but by the impact you made.  And to make that impact, you need to understand what LIFE IS REALLY ABOUT. It is wisdom when you go to war better informed and armed with the right weapons & strategy than when you appear in ignorance. And you know better than I that IGNORANCE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE according to our law. The Truth you choose to ignore today, be sure you will inevitably face tomorrow.

To every product, there is a manufacturer and most products come with a manufactures handbook and guilds. Such is this LIFE. Deny it all you want; Ignore it all you can; Believe it or don’t; But there is definitely a manufacturer of this life we live…GOD. Go get your specific manufactures details and guild from him because that is the only way you’ll actually live.

In Him was Life, and the life was the light of Men (John 1:4; The Holy Bible KJV)

I believe in Truth; And I believe it is Best to tell that Truth.

SHALOM!

#AmyCares   #JESUSCARES  #GODCARES

You Don't Win a battle by Having the Last words Part II: The Lesson.

What!!! Are you kidding me? Did I just hear what I heard? I incredulously queried.

The words just came back stronger than before. "You don't win a battle by having the last words."

"God, this is totally unfair! I mean, I wasn't the one in the wrong here; that other party is. At least let me tell my own side of the story. If I don’t, I will look like a fool. Besides, shouldn’t you be telling that guy what you just told me now? He is the one who needs to hear you this very moment, not me?" So many of these thoughts and questions just kept swishing through my head; believe me, I really tried to wiggle my way out of that one.

Hmmm... I whined and whined and whined, trying to rationalize my stand. But you know the funny thing… that lesson just got stuck in my mind. The word wasn’t FORCEFUL or INSISTENT while I kept trying to lay my cards on the table. Twice was just enough for it to get hold of me. So, all the while I whined, there was silence.

Oh! Don’t we all do that? Whenever we are faced with a conflict or confrontation, we always, always try to rationalize our way out. Is it wrong to try to prove yourself right? No ooo. Is it wrong to try to make others understand you weren’t wrong? No, No, No. But, here is the bad news. At the end of all that word battle, you may either come out looking more foolish or end up losing that calm, collected, sane part of your personality. Really, It ain't bad making an attempt to prove ourselves; it is a good thing. However, we need to also understand that NOT EVERYTHING GOOD IS RIGHT. Okay now you’d say I’m getting you confused, am I? I promise I’ll try not to divert into philosophy, so I’ll make it quick because this is my very own lesson I’m sharing here.

Not everything good is right. Is it good to eat when you are hungry? Yes. What if it’s Eba (A Nigerian Delicacy) and one delicious native soup you really want to eat? Now, just picture yourself strolling on the road eating that; or better still, in an ongoing board meeting. Take a moment and think of what other’s watching would think or say? That you’ve gone nuts? Come on guy, you are hungry nah, why not go ahead and eat? Why not damn the CEO who is sitting at the board head, damn the President who is talking…damn everyone and satisfy your hunger?  Too Simple, right? Okay. Look at this one. I am having an interview with my would-be Boss. My phone rings and it was one of my Pals. Like lightening, I pick the call, talk at length, drop the call and goes "Oya, Oga Continue. What!!!  Well, there are things I won’t answer for you; and definitely not this one. But my good guess is this; you won’t dare (At least not if you are sane). Why? Because something in you tells you it won’t be right.

Okay. Back to that lesson. Conflict resolution is often the most difficult part in a Conflict. And if it happens that you have one where both parties are solidly irrational; well good luck to you because you are sooo set for a lock down.

That was what God wanted to teach me. I am not crazy; oh well, not in a bad way anyway (If you want me to explain that, you’ll have to inbox me please *Smiles*). My mind is Sound. That is why I was able to pause and listen to God. If I was solidly irrational, maybe we would have caused another Tsunami which will leave both of us with this huge chasm and bad water.

But I left off trying to justify my side of the story and let the other party win the sword for the WORD CHAMPIONSHIP. Did I feel greet then. No. But you know what happened? I left a lesson in the mind of that person. That lesson God taught me was passed on without words to the other party. God taught me that day that, in a confrontation, two irrational people/party are incapable of having an effective communication let alone reach an understanding. So what did I do? I walked away. That lesson wasn’t easy then but I sure am glad I learnt it. And the funny thing is, I got my respect from this party because he didn’t understand why I left the issue. Do you know how it feels to have to get a sound apology from someone who has wronged you; and also a testimony that you taught he/she a positive lesson without your having to say a single word or your yapping all over. Mmmm...Heavenly. I can’t explain that feeling. You just need to feel it to know.

Now, Do I still have conflicts? Yes, Of course. But now, I’m much better equipped at handling it than I would if I didn’t allow God to teach me that day. If you still got your saneness about you; and more so, if you are ABOVE AVERAGE/NORMAL like me or working towards being ABOVE AVERAGE, then you will also shut your wits and walk away (Please read Part 1 of earlier Post to understand this). That way you won’t be forced to rationalize… That way, you still have your cool, sanity, and respect about you. Secondly, you may not know it but you’d have silently taught the other party a lesson. What is the lesson? … “I am beyond this level. Your having the last word knowing you are wrong didn’t take away my personality and humanity. I am still me. I am not less me. You can choose to be too. It’s your call.” You know what you just did? You totally disarm the opponent without batting an eyelid. You took the wind off his sail without lifting a finger.

“Not in this times. Certainly not in this our present world.” I can hear your thoughts now. I’m not joking. I just heard it now again.

See life is a choice. You can choose to get better and better everyday till you begin to live above average and mediocrity or you can chose to just stay normal like everyone and live by the world’s rule. But I, personally, won’t shred my beautiful life and humanity just because I want to win a confrontation. I rather lose the confrontation to gain more and scale greater than win that and risk losing the better and superior person I could be.

I lay the card at your table. Choose wisdom and your life will be long. My desire is that you will understand this beautiful lesson too. It sure works and will save you loads of unnecessary headache.

Keep Faith!

YOU DON'T WIN A BATTLE BY HAVING THE LAST WORDS

Today, I decided to share one of the Beautiful Lessons God taught me during My Moments of Heart to Heart with Him.

I am quite aware that this is a social network platform and that I am setting myself up for mindless
criticism and critical exposure of my person to all. However, there are certain things in life that are not negotiable no matter the prevalent norm and diverse opinion of People. One of such things is 'Truth.' The truth of what God thought me is what I'm sharing and I hope that out of it, you'll find the truth that'll benefit your own life too.

CONFLICT...

We all know that conflict is an inevitable part of life. It is not as though one would go out of his way to look for one. In fact, if you really ask sound minded individuals, you'll realize that every one of them would rather avoid conflict than create or face it head on.  But Like it or not, conflict just have a way of seeking you out whether you look out for it or not. It’s as though the more you try to avoid it, the stronger it comes on you. And that’s just it. No matter how likeable a person is, there will always be someone out there to either grudge you for being likeable or criticize you that you aren't that much likeable. So, get used to that fact. Life has got several packages and one of them is conflict.

Oh Well...Lets now not dwell much on 'CONFLICT' itself. The problem isn’t much on Conflict than on CONFLICT RESOLUTION which really is what I want to talk about. Let me start by asking a soul searching question; and I wish to ask it this way; "You hate confrontation and conflict but they just come unbidden. Now, you have one, what would you do then?"  Often times when I’m faced with a confrontation where another party is making bold lies and I get so frustrated trying to separate the actual events from the lies and convince the witnesses otherwise, I see myself asking God what do I do? People often say that Silence is acceptance or acquiescence. If I don’t refute the claims of the other party, wouldn’t that make me the culprit/originator of the confrontation? If you happen to be stuck in that kind of situation as me, what would be the best thing to do? Go Yapping like a dog, or head butting like a bull, or probably run your mouth like a parakeet?  Some would say fight it to the end. Another may suggest you give it tit for tat (i.e make up your own ear-splitting lies) or that dangerous extremist inner voice tells you to scheme a revenge plot? What would you really do?

I mean no one like to be made to look like a fool, at least not me. The average human being/man would definitely not accept or allow that. In fact you would come out of it looking like the sorriest fool ever. But the clause here is…The average man. The average man plays by the world’s rules. He is the natural man and cannot settle for anything more than the natural order of things. That’s why we have the judiciary and the Human Rights and Lots of NGO’S defending one course or the other. But that’s a higher pedestal I wouldn’t want to delve into now because my main focus is just to share my personal lesson in my walk with God.

I AM NOT AN AVERAGE HUMAN. And honestly I don’t ever want to be. It’s a choice and I would definitely choose that any day, any time. I mean, who wants average and normal when I can be more? I have a relationship with God. Anyone who really shares a relationship with him can’t ever be normal. Now I happen to be like raw gold in his hand. I am not yet like it. But I am his work in process. Believe me; each phase of refining isn’t that comfortable but it is very much worth it because each time the beauty gets better and better.

Now that eventful day, I stood dumbfounded as the other party talked and talked. I tried severally to get in some words but failed miserably at it. The normal me withdrew immediately like a turtle into my shell as I wondered if the event as the other party describes it happen in a make-believe movie I unconsciously must have starred in. Was it me or was it really my clone? With my thoughts came the feeling of hurt, betrayal and red hot anger. ‘God why?,’ I cried. I can’t even get in a few words to tell my own side of the story. And Gosh! The lies? That ain’t the way it happened? This is totally unfair! A lot of thoughts swished through my head. Trust me, you don’t want to hear some of them because I really felt like slapping the words out the other party’s mouth. But my saving grace came when I took a deep breath and asked silently, “God, what do I do? This is not fair and you know it.”

Gently, like a soft wind, the words came “YOU DON’T WIN A BATTLE BY HAVING THE LAST WORDS.”
Let me stop here. Take a moment and think on that. I know you’ve got questions and even comments. I welcomed them all. Keep a date and expect the concluding part where I struggled to accept that Truth. But just know I finally did and you won’t believe what happened after.


TO BE CONTINUED…

LET'S PLAY THE BLAME GAME...

Hello,


There's this thing common with us humans; and that is the need to blame someone else for our pain, woes, hurt, anguish, disappointments, disasters, mistakes, foolishness, cowardice, stupidity (Oh Boy! Couldn't help grinning when I mentioned that last one...Who ever accepts to have been stupid?). We look for escape goats who'll be left with the burden of our guilt and failures. The list is endless, so I'll spare us the boredom of having to count how many words there were.

So, let's get right to the blame game...

Adam... He ate the 'apple' like most of us would love to claim. In anyways, he ate the fruit but when it got to assuming responsibility for an act committed, he started on the blame game...

"Oh No God! It was the woman you gave me. She practically shoved the fruit right down my throat. Even when I bared my teeth it did me no good..."(Oh Mine! Of course I wasn't there. I added those last bit for emphasis)
But what just happened here? That guy Adam was just telling God he was weak to say no to his wife. In his better mind, he didn't realise he was saying, "God, look at me. I am not wise enough to hold on to the information you gave me first hand. I mean - my wife is wiser than me. She best me to my shame." He didn't want to accept his own gullibility - so what did he do? He started the first half of a game called "Blame Eve." I guess Adam's easy way out was to discover that age long game.

Hmmm, are we left out? No. Now let's leave the past and bring it down to us.

Check out that thieving Banker... When discovered reply's,

"It is the devil's handwork."

Hah! Which devil? I mean, he knew the rules from the beginning. Transactions are recorded for proper documentation and accounting; but he kept taking little by little, maybe going extra mile to falsify records, hoping against hope never to be discovered. What was he thinking? Let's see. "I have dunces as Bosses. They can't read and understand; and even if they did, they'll just smile and admire the figures and I'll be home free." Really? Who was he deceiving? And now he has the courage to mention the devil? Was the devil present when he was informed about the terms and conditions of employment? Did the devil share in the dividends of his thievery? I mean, if he were to stand face to face with the devil, would he be so bold to accuse him? Nah! I don't think so. That goes for not just the banker, but for the corrupt politician, lecturer, rapist, playboy, marketer, investor, delinquents etcetera.

What about me? I'll share an experience I once had...an experience where someone I respect so much hurt me when he blamed me for someone else personal choice and decision.

 A friend of mine one day decided to wear a short gown she wasn't used to wearing afore. When I saw her wearing it, I commented on it's shortness which wasn't headed. Later on, that same friend told me someone I held in high regard scolded her and finally hinted that I was the one who taught her how to wear the short gown. Huh! Unbelievable! I laughed and laughed and laughed at her. So easy to blame me for someone else choice and decision. You want to know what I told her? First I asked her if the person in question knew I complained when I saw her wearing the dress? Then I finally said, "If that's what you were told, then the person that said that to you is simply saying you are brainless, a puppet that doesn't know what she wants and is incapable of knowing what is right for you."

The truth is, we all play this blame game everyday. A child breaks something, acts negatively or turns out worse than expected, the parents gets the blame. An employee falls below expectation, the management gets the blame, A girl falls pregnant, the boy gets the blame or the boy impregnates a girl, the girl gets the blame (Put it in any order you love, it's all the same), The society is in chaos, the leaders get the blame, the politicians breaks the law, the opposition parties gets the blame. Should I continue? Nope. You'll get bored.

The blame game is a game we all willingly play. But the stark truth is when we refuse to assume responsibility for our actions, we are actually irresponsible. When we play this game, we inadvertently show how unwise we are. The fact is mistakes are bound to happen because none of us are hundred percent (100%) perfect. But we should not celebrate our mistakes, faults and weaknesses. We should rather work on them and let them become source of strengths for us. But they can't be when we play the blame game and don't assume responsibility. Owning up to responsibility isn't weakness contrary to some opinions. It is even an act of cowardice to blame another for one's mistakes. Only cowards play the blame game. Courageous men and women don't!

So man up! Dare your responsibilities if you can.


(C) Stephanie Ejike
April 27, 2015.

A LETTER TO MY DEARS...

Dear Gent,

She broke up with you, left you battered and blue. She thought you would be miserable without her, actually thought you were. She gloated over it with friends, prided her hold over you with acquaintances and gave you the cold treatment when you were around. She scorned your explanations, relished your tears and hauled back hurtful words against your soft spoken ones. You were taken for granted, spurned and discarded by the angel you thought you love. She gloried in your misery.

…And now you are living with the pain and hurt. Each day reminds you of her betrayal. Same old story huh? Now you can't let go or find a reason to go on. You feel like trash, on the verge of suicide. Heh! Get off your pity-party and prove her wrong. Who says she can decide how your life should turn out? Snap out of it. You've got to let her know the pain made you better, not worse. Maybe she left for the best to come. She probably left because she doesn't fit into the bigger picture God has for you.

Dear Lady,

Oh dear! I can just see you crying your eyes out at night because he told you you can't find anyone better than him; that you would be miserable without him in your life. Maybe he just up and left you without a word. Ugh! And you are definitely proving him right by being miserable. Sorry but no sorry. Wake up girl! If he left, it is probably because there is someone best for you than him. Better a diamond than a bauble. Why leave your fulfilment and joy in the hands of a man who obviously is so callous to care a hoot how you feel. Pinch yourself and wake up. Focus on the larger picture in God's hands for you. There's the best out there for you if you but can let go the dreary past.

“What do I know of pain and betrayal?” I can feel that question in your heart now. Do I even know what you had to go through? Can I even begin to imagine the years of labour of love?

No. Of course I don’t. And I won’t create another pity-party here telling you of my own woes and pain. It may have happened to me. But I fought back and I came out of it better. I dare not imagine how horrible it was for you too. But I know one truth that can help… No one has the power to keep your life at a standstill while there’s go better. Man up! Look the pain in the eye and walk by it. Who knows…there’s a jewel waiting at the end of the tunnel.

Let the past be past dear! There’s a golden present and future waiting to be discovered. And be sure of this, you can’t see it if you keep looking back.

(c) Stephanie Ejike.
24/4/2015.