Today, I decided to share one of the Beautiful Lessons God taught me during My Moments of Heart to Heart with Him.
I am quite aware that this is a social network platform and that I am setting myself up for mindless
criticism and critical exposure of my person to all. However, there are certain things in life that are not negotiable no matter the prevalent norm and diverse opinion of People. One of such things is 'Truth.' The truth of what God thought me is what I'm sharing and I hope that out of it, you'll find the truth that'll benefit your own life too.
CONFLICT...
We all know that conflict is an inevitable part of life. It is not as though one would go out of his way to look for one. In fact, if you really ask sound minded individuals, you'll realize that every one of them would rather avoid conflict than create or face it head on. But Like it or not, conflict just have a way of seeking you out whether you look out for it or not. It’s as though the more you try to avoid it, the stronger it comes on you. And that’s just it. No matter how likeable a person is, there will always be someone out there to either grudge you for being likeable or criticize you that you aren't that much likeable. So, get used to that fact. Life has got several packages and one of them is conflict.
Oh Well...Lets now not dwell much on 'CONFLICT' itself. The problem isn’t much on Conflict than on CONFLICT RESOLUTION which really is what I want to talk about. Let me start by asking a soul searching question; and I wish to ask it this way; "You hate confrontation and conflict but they just come unbidden. Now, you have one, what would you do then?" Often times when I’m faced with a confrontation where another party is making bold lies and I get so frustrated trying to separate the actual events from the lies and convince the witnesses otherwise, I see myself asking God what do I do? People often say that Silence is acceptance or acquiescence. If I don’t refute the claims of the other party, wouldn’t that make me the culprit/originator of the confrontation? If you happen to be stuck in that kind of situation as me, what would be the best thing to do? Go Yapping like a dog, or head butting like a bull, or probably run your mouth like a parakeet? Some would say fight it to the end. Another may suggest you give it tit for tat (i.e make up your own ear-splitting lies) or that dangerous extremist inner voice tells you to scheme a revenge plot? What would you really do?
I mean no one like to be made to look like a fool, at least not me. The average human being/man would definitely not accept or allow that. In fact you would come out of it looking like the sorriest fool ever. But the clause here is…The average man. The average man plays by the world’s rules. He is the natural man and cannot settle for anything more than the natural order of things. That’s why we have the judiciary and the Human Rights and Lots of NGO’S defending one course or the other. But that’s a higher pedestal I wouldn’t want to delve into now because my main focus is just to share my personal lesson in my walk with God.
I AM NOT AN AVERAGE HUMAN. And honestly I don’t ever want to be. It’s a choice and I would definitely choose that any day, any time. I mean, who wants average and normal when I can be more? I have a relationship with God. Anyone who really shares a relationship with him can’t ever be normal. Now I happen to be like raw gold in his hand. I am not yet like it. But I am his work in process. Believe me; each phase of refining isn’t that comfortable but it is very much worth it because each time the beauty gets better and better.
Now that eventful day, I stood dumbfounded as the other party talked and talked. I tried severally to get in some words but failed miserably at it. The normal me withdrew immediately like a turtle into my shell as I wondered if the event as the other party describes it happen in a make-believe movie I unconsciously must have starred in. Was it me or was it really my clone? With my thoughts came the feeling of hurt, betrayal and red hot anger. ‘God why?,’ I cried. I can’t even get in a few words to tell my own side of the story. And Gosh! The lies? That ain’t the way it happened? This is totally unfair! A lot of thoughts swished through my head. Trust me, you don’t want to hear some of them because I really felt like slapping the words out the other party’s mouth. But my saving grace came when I took a deep breath and asked silently, “God, what do I do? This is not fair and you know it.”
Gently, like a soft wind, the words came “YOU DON’T WIN A BATTLE BY HAVING THE LAST WORDS.”
Let me stop here. Take a moment and think on that. I know you’ve got questions and even comments. I welcomed them all. Keep a date and expect the concluding part where I struggled to accept that Truth. But just know I finally did and you won’t believe what happened after.
TO BE CONTINUED…
I am quite aware that this is a social network platform and that I am setting myself up for mindless
criticism and critical exposure of my person to all. However, there are certain things in life that are not negotiable no matter the prevalent norm and diverse opinion of People. One of such things is 'Truth.' The truth of what God thought me is what I'm sharing and I hope that out of it, you'll find the truth that'll benefit your own life too.
CONFLICT...
We all know that conflict is an inevitable part of life. It is not as though one would go out of his way to look for one. In fact, if you really ask sound minded individuals, you'll realize that every one of them would rather avoid conflict than create or face it head on. But Like it or not, conflict just have a way of seeking you out whether you look out for it or not. It’s as though the more you try to avoid it, the stronger it comes on you. And that’s just it. No matter how likeable a person is, there will always be someone out there to either grudge you for being likeable or criticize you that you aren't that much likeable. So, get used to that fact. Life has got several packages and one of them is conflict.
Oh Well...Lets now not dwell much on 'CONFLICT' itself. The problem isn’t much on Conflict than on CONFLICT RESOLUTION which really is what I want to talk about. Let me start by asking a soul searching question; and I wish to ask it this way; "You hate confrontation and conflict but they just come unbidden. Now, you have one, what would you do then?" Often times when I’m faced with a confrontation where another party is making bold lies and I get so frustrated trying to separate the actual events from the lies and convince the witnesses otherwise, I see myself asking God what do I do? People often say that Silence is acceptance or acquiescence. If I don’t refute the claims of the other party, wouldn’t that make me the culprit/originator of the confrontation? If you happen to be stuck in that kind of situation as me, what would be the best thing to do? Go Yapping like a dog, or head butting like a bull, or probably run your mouth like a parakeet? Some would say fight it to the end. Another may suggest you give it tit for tat (i.e make up your own ear-splitting lies) or that dangerous extremist inner voice tells you to scheme a revenge plot? What would you really do?
I mean no one like to be made to look like a fool, at least not me. The average human being/man would definitely not accept or allow that. In fact you would come out of it looking like the sorriest fool ever. But the clause here is…The average man. The average man plays by the world’s rules. He is the natural man and cannot settle for anything more than the natural order of things. That’s why we have the judiciary and the Human Rights and Lots of NGO’S defending one course or the other. But that’s a higher pedestal I wouldn’t want to delve into now because my main focus is just to share my personal lesson in my walk with God.
I AM NOT AN AVERAGE HUMAN. And honestly I don’t ever want to be. It’s a choice and I would definitely choose that any day, any time. I mean, who wants average and normal when I can be more? I have a relationship with God. Anyone who really shares a relationship with him can’t ever be normal. Now I happen to be like raw gold in his hand. I am not yet like it. But I am his work in process. Believe me; each phase of refining isn’t that comfortable but it is very much worth it because each time the beauty gets better and better.
Now that eventful day, I stood dumbfounded as the other party talked and talked. I tried severally to get in some words but failed miserably at it. The normal me withdrew immediately like a turtle into my shell as I wondered if the event as the other party describes it happen in a make-believe movie I unconsciously must have starred in. Was it me or was it really my clone? With my thoughts came the feeling of hurt, betrayal and red hot anger. ‘God why?,’ I cried. I can’t even get in a few words to tell my own side of the story. And Gosh! The lies? That ain’t the way it happened? This is totally unfair! A lot of thoughts swished through my head. Trust me, you don’t want to hear some of them because I really felt like slapping the words out the other party’s mouth. But my saving grace came when I took a deep breath and asked silently, “God, what do I do? This is not fair and you know it.”
Gently, like a soft wind, the words came “YOU DON’T WIN A BATTLE BY HAVING THE LAST WORDS.”
Let me stop here. Take a moment and think on that. I know you’ve got questions and even comments. I welcomed them all. Keep a date and expect the concluding part where I struggled to accept that Truth. But just know I finally did and you won’t believe what happened after.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Nice one steph.having the last words does not make u the winner but it is just facts that prevails. At other times, silence speaks volume as u leave ur opponent pondering over a lot .I read a book where it is said that speech is silver but silence is golden .Tell me..who ll leave Gold for Silver? For me,the most precious is Gold..
ReplyDeleteYeah! Who definitely would chose silver over Gold? Thanks For that Insight Chioma
DeleteYes, as you rightly said, silence is acceptance but that is in a different context. That is only when you are a passive observer of a situation. In the case of a confrontation, the watchword is that 'silence is golden' or better still silence is the best answer for a fool.
ReplyDeleteYou really got the point there.
DeleteThank you Anonymous
Thanks Chionancy
ReplyDeleteWow!!! This is lovely. I must commend you for this wonderful piece of writing of yours, the insight, experience, exposure and revelation.
ReplyDeleteYour are a great figure who is worthy of emulation.
Indeed, conflict is highly inevitable, it is an integral part human life. It is inseparable to human existence. Conflict resolution is paramount and very crucial. The ability to manage a conflict without a third party makes one a conflict manager or a mediator if a thirt party is involve. These are best forms of conflict resolution other thank arbitrary, litigation, .....
We can not be average humans where as God has given all that pertains to life and godliness. We are not ordinary but extraordinary because we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
More grace Amy
You have the words Frank.*Smiles*
DeleteAmen and Thank You for the worthy comment
Letting go, the ultimate weapon of worriors. Silence, the ultimate weapon of winners.
ReplyDeleteNice one Steph