Tuesday, 13 April 2021

... THE CROSSROADS

I noticed her from a distance. Maybe because of the way she was dressed or the way she stood, who knows? It could have been the way she cast her eyes at the passing cars or probably because I'm also female, and would, to a certain extent, understand certain misguided feminine ploy. She stood, wantonly chewing the gum as if her entire life depended on it. The car coming from the opposite direction was a Jeep with a chunk (I think some would rather I use Hunk here; oh well…) of a man at the driver's seat. It sped past and the standing dark beauty glanced nonchalantly at it. I would presume she didn't like what she saw.


We were on our way to a meeting - my Boss and I; already behind schedule. Our car was soon to pass where the young lady stood. She fixed her eyes on the driver's seat, probably hoping to get a good look at the driver. Ughh, was that disappointment? I would have bet my ten toes I saw a look of disappointment cross her face. Maybe she didn't think to see anyone sitting in the passenger's seat. What was she thinking then? That she will cast her net like a fisherman and catch the fish unaware with or without me swimming alongside the fish? The very idea sounded ludicrous. Plus the analogy between her and the imaginary fisherman in my thoughts was quite hilarious. I felt a giggle rise and tried to stifle it. I managed a light chuckle instead and looked out my side of the window. I hoped my Boss didn't notice, so before he would say anything I asked about something to distract him. What would I have said? Surely, you don't expect me to tell him a female fisherman was trying to catch a silly male human fish by the crossroad we just passed.

As we sped down the road, I began to reflect deeply on what I just witnessed. I thought about my Boss who was a married man and, obviously, didn't notice what just happened. I thought about so many other faceless men who would ignorantly fall into a net subtly set for them. With it came also a realisation that as it was for the menfolk, so also it was for the female counterpart. It took a fellow lady standing at a crossroad to get me to ask myself a pertinent question... "What happens at a crossroad - any crossroads at all?" What happens when we are faced with a decision - a decision for good or bad, the right or wrong, the best or worst, the safe or dangerous in life? What informs our choice when we take that turn or take a path at that crossroad? What are the odds that we'd not plunge over the edge or keep fast to the track we set out on at first?


The Crossroad... A place of confusion. A place of crucial decision with far-reaching consequences. A place where mistakes are made either for the best or worst. A place where people takes a plunge down the ravine or scale up the mountain. A place where men are made or marred. A place where just a step can take you on the highway to destruction or on that very narrow path to safety.

Narrow, you say? Yes.

I discovered that it is often all so easy for us to make decisions that serve our selfish interest and cravings first than consider the interest of others. Many will argue with this, I know, but when it comes to making a decision that serves the good of another or people around us, there's this unusual pressure; this fight and inner struggle that leaves us tired and giving up easily. At that point, our thought goes, 'what the heck! I won't be the first to have made mistakes anyway.' And with that thought, we take the easy way out which may eventually not be the right option to have taken in the first place.

I'm guessing you are probably thinking, 'What's the point in all these?'

Okay, here it is.

When we drove by the young lady that day, I took note of some interesting truths.
1. Everyone encounters crossroads at certain points in their lives whether literary or literally.

2. No matter how innocent or ignorant a bystander one may be at a crossroad, there is always a challenge to face, a choice to make, either for good or bad at every crossroads. Challenges or happenstance are no respecter of status.

3. Never underestimate the power of a challenge at a crossword to destroy or build you up. You can never tell what measure of heartache a little compromise can bring you. Better to walk away from an inferno when you are not wearing a fire proximity suit than be consumed by the very fire you are trying to quench.

4.  At a crossroad, there will always be conflicting choices to what one knows, and the possibility of making a wrong turn will be quite high. In this case, don't get overly confident or try to be superman when you are not. Be clear about your strength, choices and path, and stick with it.

Herein I rest my Pen.

If you have ever been at a crossroad at a point in your life, and you came out unscathed, this writer would love to read about your experience and how you handled it in the comment section or write me at ejikestephanie@gmail.com.



Disclaimer: Image not mine.
From Google Search Engine: (c) whats-your-sign.com

Thursday, 1 April 2021

POLITICAL MADNESS - The New Normal

Hmmm, the politics of these present times!

It would seem that the more informed, knowledgeable and technologically advanced we grow, the more selfish, foolish, twisted and cruel we become. Could animals in the jungle be better at organising and ordering their world than us? Even the holy book, the Bible took notice of how organised and strategic ordinary ants can be (Proverbs 6:6-8). They have no ruler or overseer, yet they seemed to have an understanding of timings and seasons; an inbuilt planning capacity to know when to work and stockpile for the general good, and when to eat and supply. Do you know what that means? They understand the rudiments of economics more than us! Quite amazing to imagine that those ants can handle inflation and deflation plus demand and supply more than us? Yet we all know and believe their pea-size brain (though having about 250,000 brain cells according to certain experts) cannot be compared with man's jumbo size brain box. They didn't even pass through the formal educational system (Aside from  crawl all over the walls), yet it's as if they took a glance at our economic lecture notes and understood it straight away. Can anything be more mind-blowing?

Anyways, let me not get carried away now... I'm not here to talk about ants or their strangely organised system. I'm here to talk about you and me, our precursors, the so-called leaders and renowned men of this age. Let's talk about our fairy tale political structures and our democratically governing body- our system of law and order. Come on, let's talk about our well-known talk of common sense that's not so common after all, especially once we have that taste of power and control.

However, before I do, let me borrow a paragraph to apologise beforehand to those of us who are determined to feel offended and insulted by this article (Surely, I already know many will), those who love to assume someone is writing about them once there's a matter of discuss; and to those who would not think twice to dissect the not-so-conspicuous-writer who had no fear to even think of writing such things. The last time I checked, freedom of thoughts and expression still exist, doesn't it? (Not so sure about speech now, but at least our minds are not gagged yet) So, please do pardon my obviously itching hands and overly concerned attitude towards our society and world presently. Forgive me but it comes with the territory.

Let's get back to the crux of the matter...

Politics! Doesn't it sound, eh-hh, manipulative? I mean I have often heard people say to others "Don't sound so political" or "You sound so political," as if the word 'Politics' is the very master of deceit and pretence. But politics isn't the governing body in itself, rather it denotes the activities of a government. So why then do we focus so much on the activities of government than on the personalities that wield the reins of government? Isn't government suppose to define its politics - or is it the other way around? I know, I know. I probably sound like a nut case with so many loose end to tie.

However, I crave your indulgence here. I strongly think and believe that a Government reflects its politics which in turn reveals the essence of the government. Like the computer term 'Garbage in, Garbage out,' whatever we see in government today reveals the kind of leaders we have elected, the quality of mindset we have and the standard of training we have received and is still receiving from our parents and predecessors (Ah-ha! And maybe the kind of electorate we are. Aren't we the ones who voted them into leadership, huh?).

So, when we have an economy heading down the rocks (If not shattered already), and a dissected society more numerous than the cloves of Onions, and Lawmakers who are more interested in breaking than making laws and a completely unstable governmental structure and policies, what other evidence should be indicative of the quality of our personalities and enlightenment than the events and situations prevalent in our nation today?

One can't go seeking fresh water to drink from the Dead Sea. Why? The water stank because it only receives in-flow but has no outflow. Furthermore, its salinity is high and the environment harsh to the survival of any plant or animal. This depicts a state of non-development and dis-enlightenment.

What is my point?

Our politics stinks because our choice of leadership stinks too! It shows the deplorable state of our minds despite our acclaimed acquisition of various educational and professional certification. The product of this is seen in the decadence that runs deeply in the veins of our political systems, structures, offices and communities. More saddening is to see renowned men - men you'd consider refined, defend these atrocious actions even when it's clear as daylight that our society is being forced to swallow the deceptively coated pills of lies whether they accept it or not.

How have we allowed ourselves to be so brainwashed that it has become near impossible to discern lies from truths? Have we degenerated so badly that we have become comfortable with frolicking with insanity? Have the line been so tampered with that none can tell where wickedness began and where kindness ends?

We pride ourselves to be learned, yet there is nothing refined about us when we comfortably chose insane men as captains over our already rocking boat. What did we expect, huh? To have a goat birth a lion can only be a dream born out of deranged minds. The very laws of nature bear witness against such.

We have political madness all over, and it is fast becoming a norm amongst us no matter how much we wish it away. Truth is, wishing for something without a decisively complimentary action born out of a transformed mind is what it is - wishful thinking. How apt to quote our popular adage at this point; if horses were wishes, beggars and even fools will definitely ride (My Emphasis).

Countrymen, let us not delude ourselves more than we have. Insane minds can only produce chaos. What we have and are living with today is a product of the quality of mind that we let handle the reins of our affairs. For as long as we endorse insanity, well, I can only say this to us - Welcome to political madness, our new normal!

Inexcusably we should have better. For if we claim to know better at this age, then there should be proof of that. In another time soon to come, if we have to relive our choices one more time, what would it be? Madness or saneness? Crudeness or refinement? What would that choice be that’ll make our government, system, society, communities and people better than they were yesterday?

I for one know what my choices are, and they haven’t changed. I’m on the lookout for a society where my children and the coming generation can walk, talk and rest freely without being chased all over by political madness. Herein I rest my pen.
 


What are your thoughts? I’d love to read from you?

Saturday, 10 February 2018

QUIT TALKING, START DOING!

We all know how much talk without action weary the spirit.
I'm here to tell you and me that it's time to quit talking and start doing- time to stop doodling and start acting.
The best time to start on that great new idea is now not tomorrow. It's okay if you don't have all the puzzle that makes the picture complete in place.  Start with a piece and work from there.  You only solve the picture of a puzzle putting it piece by piece. 100 days from now, you'll look back and wished you started today.  So don't make that your reality.  Create the Future now!  QUIT TALKING AND START DOING.
#Emerge

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

IF WE CAN CAPTURE YESTERDAY...

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would record every conversation, every expression, every touch, every positive emotion, every loving sigh and every smile because some memories are worth more than diamonds in the present and future than in the past.

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would still be innocent...pure, untarnished and untainted by some thoughts, associations, events, advice and experiences because the peace of a pure and guiltless heart words cannot express.

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would not have let treasured friends, both living and dead go because a man's wealth consist not only in his material and monetary possession; but in the richness of genuine friends who truly cared and loved.

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would have listened more and talk less because in the multitude of words spoken, there lacked not foolishness and regrets.

If We can capture Yesterday...

We would have overlooked some offences, some hurtful remarks, some criticism, some divergent opinions, arguements and some fights because giving them space in our heart would mess that mass up so badly We get to die quicker than when a shot gun is being held to our head

If We can capture yesterday...

We would use the time and energy spent dreaming to buld a castle where realities becomes dreams and dreams becomes impacts made from realities.

If We can capture yesterday...

Then let us live this moment, this minute creating monuments for tomorrow.

#LiveRight

Tuesday, 27 June 2017

THE FUTILITY OF AN EMPTY LIFE


I bet a lot of us would take a look at the theme of this post and scroll over as fast as we can. But I crave your indulgence to forebear a little and scan through this.
 
So, I woke up this morning around 2am and the pictures of life began to flash through my mind like a rolling slide.
And I began to ask myself what Life is really all about. (That doesn’t mean I haven’t asked myself such before). Anyways, I just needed to ask again what life really means. You just need to open our social Media Pages for you to know what life means to a lot of us folks. Sadly though what we call life is just an ILLUSION TO REALITY. It’s like a disease spreading subtly and eating deeply at the roots of a tree. You see the tree looking so lush today, but a little wind tomorrow, you see it crashing down with such ferocity than you can imagine.

I’m not here to depress you though. No Guys! That’s not why I am making this post. In fact,  I bet you’ve got lots of depressing news & post around you daily; I mean enough to keep one permanently depressed for eternity (Especially if you have not identify your stand in life)
But I think it’s time most of us begin to ask ourselves pertinent questions about life seriously. Am I really LIVING or just EXISTING? What am I living for? Where am I now? And where am I going to?
Friends, don’t allow the things you see on social media to shape your opinion of life. NEVER let it become the foundation on which you build your life because I can bet you that 80 to 90% of most of what you see ain’t real at all. Don’t ever be fooled by the glint and shine of it all.

This Cosmic Spherical Ball we live in didn’t happen by chance, and we are certainly NOT ACCIDENTS OF HISTORY. There is a purpose for why you are in a particular family, at a particular age, among a particular set of people in a particular environment etc etc.
People come, People go. Ages come and Ages go. Where is the path you have choosing today leading you to tomorrow? What is the foundation of the life you lead? To what purpose is it? Because when all is said and done; and everyone is gone, what will be left is the STARK REALITY OF THE TRUTH – THE TRUTH THAT ALL OF HUMANITY HAVE DECIDED TO LIVE IN DENIAL OF.

I leave you with this, Friends;

Life is not measured by the acquisition of wealth or the magnitude of your material possession, but by the impact you made.  And to make that impact, you need to understand what LIFE IS REALLY ABOUT. It is wisdom when you go to war better informed and armed with the right weapons & strategy than when you appear in ignorance. And you know better than I that IGNORANCE IS NEVER AN EXCUSE according to our law. The Truth you choose to ignore today, be sure you will inevitably face tomorrow.

To every product, there is a manufacturer and most products come with a manufactures handbook and guilds. Such is this LIFE. Deny it all you want; Ignore it all you can; Believe it or don’t; But there is definitely a manufacturer of this life we live…GOD. Go get your specific manufactures details and guild from him because that is the only way you’ll actually live.

In Him was Life, and the life was the light of Men (John 1:4; The Holy Bible KJV)

I believe in Truth; And I believe it is Best to tell that Truth.

SHALOM!
#AmyCares   #JESUSCARES  #GODCARES

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

You Don't Win a battle by Having the Last words Part II: The Lesson.

What!!! Are you kidding me? Did I just hear what I heard? I incredulously queried.

The words just came back stronger than before. "You don't win a battle by having the last words."

"God, this is totally unfair! I mean, I wasn't the one in the wrong here; that other party is. At least let me tell my own side of the story. If I don’t, I will look like a fool. Besides, shouldn’t you be telling that guy what you just told me now? He is the one who needs to hear you this very moment, not me?" So many of these thoughts and questions just kept swishing through my head; believe me, I really tried to wiggle my way out of that one.

Hmmm... I whined and whined and whined, trying to rationalize my stand. But you know the funny thing… that lesson just got stuck in my mind. The word wasn’t FORCEFUL or INSISTENT while I kept trying to lay my cards on the table. Twice was just enough for it to get hold of me. So, all the while I whined, there was silence.

Oh! Don’t we all do that? Whenever we are faced with a conflict or confrontation, we always, always try to rationalize our way out. Is it wrong to try to prove yourself right? No ooo. Is it wrong to try to make others understand you weren’t wrong? No, No, No. But, here is the bad news. At the end of all that word battle, you may either come out looking more foolish or end up losing that calm, collected, sane part of your personality. Really, It ain't bad making an attempt to prove ourselves; it is a good thing. However, we need to also understand that NOT EVERYTHING GOOD IS RIGHT. Okay now you’d say I’m getting you confused, am I? I promise I’ll try not to divert into philosophy, so I’ll make it quick because this is my very own lesson I’m sharing here.

Not everything good is right. Is it good to eat when you are hungry? Yes. What if it’s Eba (A Nigerian Delicacy) and one delicious native soup you really want to eat? Now, just picture yourself strolling on the road eating that; or better still, in an ongoing board meeting. Take a moment and think of what other’s watching would think or say? That you’ve gone nuts? Come on guy, you are hungry nah, why not go ahead and eat? Why not damn the CEO who is sitting at the board head, damn the President who is talking…damn everyone and satisfy your hunger?  Too Simple, right? Okay. Look at this one. I am having an interview with my would-be Boss. My phone rings and it was one of my Pals. Like lightening, I pick the call, talk at length, drop the call and goes "Oya, Oga Continue. What!!!  Well, there are things I won’t answer for you; and definitely not this one. But my good guess is this; you won’t dare (At least not if you are sane). Why? Because something in you tells you it won’t be right.

Okay. Back to that lesson. Conflict resolution is often the most difficult part in a Conflict. And if it happens that you have one where both parties are solidly irrational; well good luck to you because you are sooo set for a lock down.

That was what God wanted to teach me. I am not crazy; oh well, not in a bad way anyway (If you want me to explain that, you’ll have to inbox me please *Smiles*). My mind is Sound. That is why I was able to pause and listen to God. If I was solidly irrational, maybe we would have caused another Tsunami which will leave both of us with this huge chasm and bad water.

But I left off trying to justify my side of the story and let the other party win the sword for the WORD CHAMPIONSHIP. Did I feel greet then. No. But you know what happened? I left a lesson in the mind of that person. That lesson God taught me was passed on without words to the other party. God taught me that day that, in a confrontation, two irrational people/party are incapable of having an effective communication let alone reach an understanding. So what did I do? I walked away. That lesson wasn’t easy then but I sure am glad I learnt it. And the funny thing is, I got my respect from this party because he didn’t understand why I left the issue. Do you know how it feels to have to get a sound apology from someone who has wronged you; and also a testimony that you taught he/she a positive lesson without your having to say a single word or your yapping all over. Mmmm...Heavenly. I can’t explain that feeling. You just need to feel it to know.

Now, Do I still have conflicts? Yes, Of course. But now, I’m much better equipped at handling it than I would if I didn’t allow God to teach me that day. If you still got your saneness about you; and more so, if you are ABOVE AVERAGE/NORMAL like me or working towards being ABOVE AVERAGE, then you will also shut your wits and walk away (Please read Part 1 of earlier Post to understand this). That way you won’t be forced to rationalize… That way, you still have your cool, sanity, and respect about you. Secondly, you may not know it but you’d have silently taught the other party a lesson. What is the lesson? … “I am beyond this level. Your having the last word knowing you are wrong didn’t take away my personality and humanity. I am still me. I am not less me. You can choose to be too. It’s your call.” You know what you just did? You totally disarm the opponent without batting an eyelid. You took the wind off his sail without lifting a finger.

“Not in this times. Certainly not in this our present world.” I can hear your thoughts now. I’m not joking. I just heard it now again.

See life is a choice. You can choose to get better and better everyday till you begin to live above average and mediocrity or you can chose to just stay normal like everyone and live by the world’s rule. But I, personally, won’t shred my beautiful life and humanity just because I want to win a confrontation. I rather lose the confrontation to gain more and scale greater than win that and risk losing the better and superior person I could be.

I lay the card at your table. Choose wisdom and your life will be long. My desire is that you will understand this beautiful lesson too. It sure works and will save you loads of unnecessary headache.

Keep Faith!

Monday, 18 July 2016

YOU DON'T WIN A BATTLE BY HAVING THE LAST WORDS

Today, I decided to share one of the Beautiful Lessons God taught me during My Moments of Heart to Heart with Him.

I am quite aware that this is a social network platform and that I am setting myself up for mindless
criticism and critical exposure of my person to all. However, there are certain things in life that are not negotiable no matter the prevalent norm and diverse opinion of People. One of such things is 'Truth.' The truth of what God thought me is what I'm sharing and I hope that out of it, you'll find the truth that'll benefit your own life too.

CONFLICT...

We all know that conflict is an inevitable part of life. It is not as though one would go out of his way to look for one. In fact, if you really ask sound minded individuals, you'll realize that every one of them would rather avoid conflict than create or face it head on.  But Like it or not, conflict just have a way of seeking you out whether you look out for it or not. It’s as though the more you try to avoid it, the stronger it comes on you. And that’s just it. No matter how likeable a person is, there will always be someone out there to either grudge you for being likeable or criticize you that you aren't that much likeable. So, get used to that fact. Life has got several packages and one of them is conflict.

Oh Well...Lets now not dwell much on 'CONFLICT' itself. The problem isn’t much on Conflict than on CONFLICT RESOLUTION which really is what I want to talk about. Let me start by asking a soul searching question; and I wish to ask it this way; "You hate confrontation and conflict but they just come unbidden. Now, you have one, what would you do then?"  Often times when I’m faced with a confrontation where another party is making bold lies and I get so frustrated trying to separate the actual events from the lies and convince the witnesses otherwise, I see myself asking God what do I do? People often say that Silence is acceptance or acquiescence. If I don’t refute the claims of the other party, wouldn’t that make me the culprit/originator of the confrontation? If you happen to be stuck in that kind of situation as me, what would be the best thing to do? Go Yapping like a dog, or head butting like a bull, or probably run your mouth like a parakeet?  Some would say fight it to the end. Another may suggest you give it tit for tat (i.e make up your own ear-splitting lies) or that dangerous extremist inner voice tells you to scheme a revenge plot? What would you really do?

I mean no one like to be made to look like a fool, at least not me. The average human being/man would definitely not accept or allow that. In fact you would come out of it looking like the sorriest fool ever. But the clause here is…The average man. The average man plays by the world’s rules. He is the natural man and cannot settle for anything more than the natural order of things. That’s why we have the judiciary and the Human Rights and Lots of NGO’S defending one course or the other. But that’s a higher pedestal I wouldn’t want to delve into now because my main focus is just to share my personal lesson in my walk with God.

I AM NOT AN AVERAGE HUMAN. And honestly I don’t ever want to be. It’s a choice and I would definitely choose that any day, any time. I mean, who wants average and normal when I can be more? I have a relationship with God. Anyone who really shares a relationship with him can’t ever be normal. Now I happen to be like raw gold in his hand. I am not yet like it. But I am his work in process. Believe me; each phase of refining isn’t that comfortable but it is very much worth it because each time the beauty gets better and better.

Now that eventful day, I stood dumbfounded as the other party talked and talked. I tried severally to get in some words but failed miserably at it. The normal me withdrew immediately like a turtle into my shell as I wondered if the event as the other party describes it happen in a make-believe movie I unconsciously must have starred in. Was it me or was it really my clone? With my thoughts came the feeling of hurt, betrayal and red hot anger. ‘God why?,’ I cried. I can’t even get in a few words to tell my own side of the story. And Gosh! The lies? That ain’t the way it happened? This is totally unfair! A lot of thoughts swished through my head. Trust me, you don’t want to hear some of them because I really felt like slapping the words out the other party’s mouth. But my saving grace came when I took a deep breath and asked silently, “God, what do I do? This is not fair and you know it.”

Gently, like a soft wind, the words came “YOU DON’T WIN A BATTLE BY HAVING THE LAST WORDS.”
Let me stop here. Take a moment and think on that. I know you’ve got questions and even comments. I welcomed them all. Keep a date and expect the concluding part where I struggled to accept that Truth. But just know I finally did and you won’t believe what happened after.


TO BE CONTINUED…